Old Year's Resolution

So i'm trying to have a breakthrough.

At the start of every term -  I tell myself that "this will be the time. My time management will not hinder my performance, and I will finally begin to find my voice as a designer. This. is. it!" I pump myself up - i'm ready to take on the world and dare it to bring me down!

Then term actually begins and once again I find myself struggling to keep up with the pace. I find myself comparing my work to others and wondering why i'm not "there." At home, I find that i'm discouraged and already looking forward for a chance to start new - and all I can do in the mean time is scroll through Pinterest, Facebook and Tumblr in order to let the inspiring images give me all the ideas I can't seem to produce on my own.

When will this infernal loop come to an end? Am I missing something? Am I lacking in control and perseverance? Do I just suck at following through with long term endeavors?

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From discussions and overhearings that I've encountered in the past year, I've realized that i'm not the only one who's been feeling lost. In the midst of all the emerging technological advances that surround us, it seems design is growing more accessible to just about anyone who has access to the internet. Drawing is the past - digi painting is the future! You can build a perfect model of your product? Well I can sketch an idea out in minutes on Solidworks. You can produce an animated short by the end of your 4  year studies? I can make a short in a week on this new cool Iphone App!

Well Fuck!

Is it possible for the world to run out of original ideas?

What if i'm out of original ideas, and i'm not even 20 yet?

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The root of all my problems is insecurity. Lack of confidence in an environment where risk - takers take the upper hand is a nono.
Lack of confidence = lack of expression.
Lack of expression = unheard ideas.
Unheard ideas = undeveloped potential
Undeveloped potential = nothing. Nada.
The beginning must obviously start somewhere and that start is us as designers speaking up - no matter how stupid, unoriginal, or useless we might think we sound, you make a run for it or you don't move. There's no in between.

New Rules for this term:

STOP comparing yourself to others.
A good solution isn't the only solution.
Your word isn't worth less than another's, you're all learning together. Speak up.
Be proactive, hand holding is a thing of the past.
Ask questions. Constantly. Be curious. There's too much to learn and too little time to ever stop.

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Take note: this rant is not research based, and is founded more on emotions and frustration than on accuracy. It's all brain vomit and I don't it expect it to make sense to the world beyond my own. May those who have somehow magically found my blog enjoy and sympathise with my fear of bathing in the ever-present shadow of uncertainty.

Hakuna Matata. Happy Break to the Summer Termers!